so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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