I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
