I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
