It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
