Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
