i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
