guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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