I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize