nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it's like heaven, but drunker
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
