Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
