I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
