What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize