I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
