We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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