guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
