I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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