She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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