cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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