I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
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After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?