Your mouth is God's brothel.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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