How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
