operation harelip BJ is a go
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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