I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize