Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
