I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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