I feel like I'm in dance class right now
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
