brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
