anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
