belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
