sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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