You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize