She's JV to your varsity
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
