Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
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We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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