Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
