I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
