He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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