My friends, they love my intelligence
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize