The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
