Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
