she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
