I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
why didn't you poke me back
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
