Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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