Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I am available for nakedness