I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.