we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.