ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
