just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I touched a dick in church today
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
