She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
