some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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