just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Randomize
