hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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