I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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