I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
