You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
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I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
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I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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