It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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