chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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