yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
