We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The adults are the big ones right?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
