Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's official drugs can't kill me
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize