I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
