I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
