YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
